Post 012 - Pathetically Alone

I have been so annoyed with my life lately. I never got the call from CableOne. I NEEDED that job, for more reasons than one, but I never got the damn call. I did not get the job. Greg applied for a job on the same day as I did for another job, and had the interview today. Guess what? He got the freaking job. Twelve stinking dollars an hour. It's like he doesn't even have to try. I feel so useless and pathetic. He keeps saying that I need to get another job. I've been trying!!!! Maybe I've just been thinking to high of myself. And assistant management position at Cato? CableOne? Maybe I'm just kidding myself. I did't get either job. Maybe if I apply at a fast food joint as a stinking food fryer I might get that!!!! But I hate food. And that would be worse pay than I am getting now. I want to move UP in the world.

My only social interaction besides Greg and Kaleb is work and the computer. I come home and zone out in front of this stupid screen that I love and hate so much. I love it because it gives me something to do, something to get my mind off things. I hate it because it drains me and makes me realize just how pathetic I really am.

I used to play World of Warcraft all the time, but now I barely play once or twice in a two-week span. Even then, I didn't really chat or interact with other players. It is just me, myself, and I. This stupid blog is all I really have to talk to about my problems. Greg just says "Everything will get better." "Everything will work out." But I am still recovering from September when our relationship was at rock bottom, and I left him. But I came back and Greg keeps wanting everything to be perfect and wonderful and it's not. Nothing is wonderful. I feel like he doesn't understand me.

I feel so alone.

/grumpy

Also: it is exactly one month until I turn 22. (December 14)